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"We did it first by identifying the areas that needed improvement and defining our expectations, and then by giving our partners specific tasks and determining the necessary measurements to hold them accountable for improvement.It may sound cold and rigorous and corporate, but it was all we had to fall back on." Write down your issues and prioritize, they suggest.C., couple and co-authors of their tell-all book My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me!The book, and their website, focus on strategies to prevent affairs, or to rebuild trust and intimacy in damaged relationships.The American National Center for Health Statistics reports that from 1975 to 1988, in families with children present, wives file for divorce in approximately 2/3 of the cases each year.In 1975, 71.4% of the cases were filed by women, and in 1988, 65% were filed by women.

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He also advises they create a "sexual garden" of acceptable acts.

No going back, no compromise, no 'wait and see.' " The book cautions, however, that wives "Take Stock of Your Own Expectations: if you married a working-class guy who's perfectly happy living paycheque-to-paycheque, and you want the BMW and the month-rental in Tuscany, well, you've got the problem." For some Christians, better sex is the best way to save their marriage. Conservative Christians -- who see marriage under attack from infidelity and divorce, from common-law and same-sex unions -- are increasingly taking to the bedrooms in a stirring and often joyfully kinky defence of the institution. The point being: sex within a monogamous marriage has plenty to offer the amorous adventurer, so why deviate?

The image of the Christian marriage as a dutiful vehicle for procreation or, worse, as the institution where sex goes to die, is obviously a bum rap. He spoke at 44 conferences last year, mostly in churches, offering seminars on building happy, healthy sexual relationships as an alternative to pornography and infidelity.

"Much research suggests that women have roundabout ways of telling their partners what they need." For instance, Bell says she used to make generalized requests of her husband such as "Please take out the trash." What Bell meant was, "Please take out the trash in the next 15 minutes." What her husband heard was, "Please take out the trash sometime this weekend." Separation from your husband isn't necessary, they claim, although it may be the only way to force change.

The main point is, "once you've determined that making a change is really important, you must take a course of action and stick to it. So are garages, the back seat of the family sedan, and maybe a secluded corner of a public park, if the spirit so moves.

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